Existential Superpowers. » Movie Reviews

Milla Jojovich & Crap Movies

Christopher — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 01:43:50 +0000

So Jeff & I went on Friday to see Resident Evil: Afterlife. I’m still not clear on what makes the third sequel in this series Afterlife-ish. What I do know is that the first movie was pretty great, and it went consistently downhill from there.

The movie wasn’t scary at all, and only a lil’ bit of a thriller. Mostly it was dumb, with plot holes a mile wide and stunts and story so absurd that I mostly spent my time rolling my eyes.

The one time I jumped is near the end, when the bad guy whipped his sunglasses at Wentworth Miller (how the mighty have fallen). Jeff felt me flinch at the 3-d shades flying through the air and whispered in my ear, “watch out… for the eyewear.”

So yeah, crap movie.

Everybody Loves A Chubby Marmot. (Yes, you’re dirty)

Christopher — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 04:19:38 +0000

If you don’t love a tiny chubby marmot eating a biscuit, you have no soul.

Ethan was both pointy and paunchy.

Christopher — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 03:18:14 +0000

So Jeff and I saw Daybreakers this afternoon. The sum total of my review comes to this: “Meh”.

On the way back downtown we saw this hanging in the window of what appears to be a combination head shop / baby clothing store on Granville and Robson:

The onesie most favoured by Jerry Springer's audience.

Truth In Advertising… Finally!

Christopher — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 05:56:51 +0000

It just figures that I catch the best movie I’ve seen all year on the last damn day of 2009!

I’m not a huge Wes Anderson fan, but this movie charmed the hell out of me – it’s smart, wryly funny, and understated but with more than a few laugh-out-loud moments. If you get a chance, see this movie before it leaves the theaters.

The only downside tonight was that we went to an early show. Too many parents thinking that Fox is a children’s movie brought youngsters who soon became bored and loud. I spent half the film transported by the sheer artistry of the actors, animators and painters, and the other half thinking, “Shut the fuck up, Junior – I’m trying to enjoy the Clooney!”

Nothing says Christmas like nightmares and screaming…

Christopher — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 03:56:11 +0000

I caught this on ew.com and let me just say: The writer-director of this particular short has some serious… issues. Seriously, eek. Enjoy!

Alma from Rodrigo Blaas on Vimeo.