Yeah, I know, haha.

Seriously, I don’t think guns should be accessible by the general public except in the most controlled circumstances, and I HATE sport hunting. That being said, when I was in the military I discovered I had a minor talent for shooting, and while I haven’t had the opportunity since I left the army I’ve often thought about trying it again.

So, fast forward to a couple of months ago. Jeff found a package deal for an indoor firing range on Social Shopper and picked it up, and we just kind of kept it in our back pocket until we had the time and opportunity. As you can guess, that was today.

We got a zipcar and hauled out to Port Coquitlam (frigging FAR, holy cats) around noon, right after they opened. This range’s setup is my version of an ideal way to handle firearms: you’re buzzed in and then out when you’re done. All weapons stay on site, and you have your own rangemaster right there while you’re plinking away. Nobody gets hurt, because there is no opportunity for anyone to get hurt.

We were set up with our package deal for .22s, but I upgraded to a 9mm, and I requested the Sig Sauer P226 because I’d used it before. Jeff stuck with a .22 target pistol.  When I was in the CF I used the C-7 assault rifle, the C-6 heavy machine gun and the C-9 medium squad machine gun. However, I had limited handgun exposure and that was over ten years ago, so I wasn’t sure how good I’d do. Jeff’s experience was limited to a .22 rifle a few times when he was a kid.

Anyway, I did okay:

Jeff wasn’t impressed with his .22, and kind of gave it a pass after a couple of magazines- he took this while I finished out my box of rounds:

We had a good time, but I think Jeff will upgrade to a 9mm if we go back. So yeah, in conclusion I am a card-carrying anti-gun guy who enjoyed a day at the range. I think it’s a harmless hobby if it’s done right. And next time I’m totally gonna try the .45!

So, anyways.  I bought us iPhones, and we’re very happy.  Except I could only get us 16gb iPhones, so because of the size restriction I was forced to go out and BUY A GODDAMN IPOD…   As you can see above, and below.

It’s very pretty, and green, and keeps every damn song I have with room to spare.  It just would have been nice to have all my eggs in one basket.

I’m getting so sick of keeping Steve Jobs in unicorn-chow, or whatever the hell he’s spending all my money on!

Zen Garden

Night, @VAG

It occurred to me all at once that yeah, I hadn’t had my hand up a jack-o-lantern in almost thirty years, and so why not give it a go?  What didn’t occur to me is that I have NOTHING in the way of artistic ability.  Seriously.  SFA.

So, I got a lil’ punkin and got it home and hunkered down in front of it and waited for artistic inspiration to strike.  That’s when I remembered that I don’t have any artistic talent, etc. etc.

I still gave it a shot, and after an hour of effort and a bunch of goo flying everywhere (and nearly amputating my thumb) the topmost image shows what I ended up with.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself, very “ah, I’ve discovered a new intrinsic talent in myself!”

Then I went online to check out some other jack-o-lanterns (underneath) and that turned into “look, Mom, I drawed a bunny.”

See what I mean?

Ah, well.  I’m thinking I’ll try it again, except writ large; a bigger canvas always equals better art, right?  Plus, the dog loves to eat pumpkin guts.

The guys behind Fringe were downtown shooting a scene that looked like a follow-up to last season’s finale.  I didn’t see Pacey, but that fourth pic is either the female lead, whose name I can’t remember (I lie, it’s Anna Torv) but I call her Serious-Blonde-Lady-Who-Needs-Product-Desperately or at least it’s her stunt-double.  Either way, she seems very nice.

A while ago I got an email from a strange person telling me “good news!”   Usually emails like this involve hot Russian girls wanting me (uh, thanks no) or tell me that my late, long lost Nigerian cousin left me all his money and I can have it if I confirm my identity with my credit card number.  For my answer to that, please see previous “uh, thanks no”.

Just out of curiosity I opened the email when I had the time and inclination, and instead of the expected usual internet scam, I got a request from an internet site / iPhone app developer called Schmap, asking if I’d give permission for them to include a photo I’d taken and posted on Flickr in their Vancouver tourism edition.

So yeah, very cool.  It’d be nice if there were money, but I can now add professional phertographer to my resumé.

I know this seems boring as hell, but give me a minute, it gets better.

The tiny lil’ plant, which started out comparable to Charlie Brown’s crappy little Christmas tree, has grown into a giant, scary fucking monster of a thing.  It’s not a tree, really, or a bush, but if it’s a houseplant it’s the kind that would try to eat your head if it could.  We tried to find an example of it online, but there were none to be found.  I think any botanist who discovered a plant like this in the wild probably got swallowed by it.

I tried to weaken it by withholding water, but that just pissed it off.

This pic doesn’t really show the scale of the Green Monster, but the zap-straps you see holding up the stems, which are rapidly becoming branches, give you an idea of how big and freaky this thing is getting.

I swear to God I once heard this thing hiss at the dog.

The rest of the plants are just average, regular houseplants.  I take great pride in them, for the sole reason that they’ve survived my care and attention.

Every one of them is doing great, except for this one:

You know why this guy is all kinds of messed up?  I left him too close to the Green Monster, and it fucking ate him.

(Jeff just asked me what I’m working on, and I responded with “I’m creating”.  You wouldn’t believe the look I got from him.)

Plus, when I really think about it, the average home in Vancouver’s downtown Core is five hundred square feet, so I can see how someone would want to be out and about as much as possible.  One of my friends moved into the West End from Richmond, and he’s currently looking for a hammock to buy and install since he sure as hell doesn’t have room for a bed in his new closet-with-spectacular-view abode, whether that increasingly theoretical bed be Murphy’d or standard.  I’m exaggerating here for effect, but not by much at all.

I know, the grammar in that last bit looped back twice before landing.  There’s lots of caffeine in the air here, and I think I’m getting a contact high on top of all the espresso I’ve gunned.

The point I’m making, which I wandered away from for a minute to look at the shiny things, is that I’m getting into the whole “report from the road” thing here, and if all goes well there’ll be more of it coming from new and exciting places, mostly to keep things fresh because I can’t always write about the dog, and also because we only have so much coffee at home.